I'm very dumb… stupid… perhaps even simple-minded… What am I doing anymore?Guys are stupid. SO STUPID! The ones you want are insane in the membrane and the guys you don't want just jump out of the wood-work when you least expect it…and then there are those you can't have no matter how hard you try. The puzzle piece fits, but it is missing a corner, or it just doesn't look right. I told someone this weekend that I loved being single and it was such a relief. And he turned to me and said, "No you don't." I was so caught off guard that I didn't have a come back. For once. That wound was exposed again. I felt like covering up. I didn't know I was still sore. It has been 7 months and I thought it was healed. But there it was. Ugly and still bleeding. My whole barrier fell down and I sank into a question mark. I was tired and confused. I watched the party continue without me. I sat there so unsure of myself that I became upset. So weak. So weak. I covered it up yesterday, but it took a little longer than usual. It's tighter this time, but I need to be stronger. My heart is still weak. Still willing. Still bending. Be cold, be hard. Don't beat quickly for anyone. My emotions, my life, my love. I won't let you feel pain again.Not smart. Not smart.